I am always starting again.
I have worried too much about being didactic, obstinate, or provoking controversy that may invite criticism or condemnation; I must be all these things and more.
I listened to what I told a woman who came to see me yesterday, and I realised I must write as I speak - with conviction, certainty, honesty, bravery and ultimately, kindness. The sort of kindness born of wanting women to be more awake so they can sort their shit out easier. I have lived a life that has flown in the face of nice-girl expectations. I am told I polarise people because I am so much muchness. My friend sent me a link to a business that sells T-shirts with "Je Suis Trop" on them. She told me I should buy one and wear it proudly. The days of a woman being 'too much anything' must draw to a close now; we have work to do, and we need to be 'too much everything' to get it done. This is not to say we oversubscribe the female life to justify its existence; such is the state of the feminine in our current system of power. It means we are everything we know is needed to turn this ship around.
I am a woman, daughter, mother, friend, doctor, and social commentator. I have been doing all of these things for a long time. During my medical training, I learned pattern recognition to distinguish between normal and not normal. Once I knew how a human was supposed to appear, I could figure out when something was wrong. This approach is a safe way to ensure we don't miss sinister pathology, but the biomedical paradigm has left me cold. The thing is, I've noticed so many more patterns in humanness than medical school ever taught me. Mostly I have witnessed women who need to remember what they already know. I want them to see what I see so they can heal the wounds caused by centuries of oppression. They are already powerful. Their anguish is inherited, and once women realise they can leave that behind, the reawakening and transformation can begin.
I have observed the complex interplay between women's stories and their bodies. We live in a cycle of cycles, and within each one, there are common themes and a shared experience. It is within this universality that the keys to our freedom reside. I will tell you what I have seen inside a woman's lifecycle that can help us reclaim our autonomy and trust in the power of our intuition. The journey will be triggering, but this is essential because it shows us what needs work. So many social justice editors tell us what we can and cannot say, but pain point avoidance denies healing. We've become so worried that we might say something confronting that we don't say anything, severing our feminine connection. I bring my heart to this conversation between us. I see you and believe in you, in us, as a feminine collective. Love, gratitude, and urgency are what motivate me.
A year after starting, when I thought I would be finishing, I am beginning again.
Book to follow…