Creating Space for Menopause

Integrating my professional and creative work helps me feel whole, and I've overhauled my Substack newsletter to reflect this. I hope you'll join me in this new direction.

Have you ever wondered why menopause is so loud? Perhaps it’s because there’s so much noise to cut through. All of the raised voices, real or imagined, telling us what we would, should, and could be doing. It is all conditioning. We have been distracted by unrealistic expectations that seek to assign responsibility far beyond our capacity, and this is where menopause becomes our ally; it forces us to stop, asks us to pause and take notice of our lives.

In response to the barrage of symptoms that are often blindsiding and overwhelming, menopausal women the world over have started an equally resounding conversation about it. They have heeded the call to commune in the powerful way that only wise “crones in waiting” can. We have formed a feminine think tank and are taking what we learn from each other, bolstered by shared experience and a strong sense of justice, and have returned to the front line of our lives to demand answers. Hallelujah!

There has been much jesting, which has enabled the relatively uncontested slide of the menopause movement into our social media feeds. Still, we mustn’t laugh at ourselves for too long because self-deprecation has a habit of slowing momentum and minimising the message. We must continue to further this cause. Some are taking on the politicians, while others, like me, have created spaces to support women during this phase of life, both clinically and professionally. And many have turned to the generation following us to educate them so they can prepare themselves in a way that we weren’t.

A woman told me recently that she had said to her mother, “Mum, why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this?” and her mother replied, “We just got on with it.” This is code for “We suffered in silence.” Just a short generation or two ago, women were being ripped off. One, by societal conditioning, two, by the oppression of the feminine agenda, and three, by the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) study findings.

In the early 2000s, the WHI released results from a study that ceased hormone prescribing across the planet. Consequently, women lost access to sanity-restoring menopause hormone treatment (MHT) for two decades. The flawed research concluded that MHT raised the risk of heart disease, stroke, blood clots, breast cancer, and dementia. These findings have been systematically debunked, and in most cases, the reverse is true. We can conspiratorially theorise about these proceedings or contribute to the conversation in a meaningful way that ensures women are served. It is time to mobilise.

This begins with self-reflection. When was the last time you took time out to question your to-do list? Does it make sense? Does it feel heavy or light? In other words, are we too afraid to stop what we’re doing and wonder if there’s another version of our beautiful life waiting to be discovered? Just because we ground our fingers to the bone during our thirties, as many of us established ourselves professionally, raised children, and reacted to a pressurised expectation of what our lives are meant to look like, does not mean that is how it must stay.

During a photo shoot for my website, I was asked what the driving force behind my decision to dedicate myself to supporting women in transitioning successfully into post-fertility thriving was. I responded with a question about what our world might look like with a liberated army of wise women, poised to take peaceful action against that which ails our planet. We will be a force to be reckoned with.

Before that, however, we must travel inwards to examine our understanding of the meaning of this precious life and what comes next.

Still, it is difficult to have a cohesive and consistent plan for this while navigating the symptoms of our reproductive hormones in chaotic flux, and that is where my colleagues and I come in. The list of potentially distressing symptoms grows, and we are discovering that what already existed can be amplified during menopause. Chronic illness symptoms and pain can worsen, pre-existing mental health issues can be exacerbated, and even neurodiverse traits can become less manageable. I work closely with women to help them quiet the noise of menopause so they can get on with their meaningful lives.

A woman came to see me recently and told me she wanted to talk about hormone treatment, but first, she was going trekking in Nepal with a group of women. She boldly justified her decision by telling me her children were now young adults, and she had spent decades helping her husband on the farm. Somewhere amid her musings, she felt called to an adventure that she knew would reset her worldview and purpose, and her excitement was infectious. I couldn’t help but high-five her and assured her I would be here when she got back.

Keep thriving,

Melissa